a casual affair,
that’s what the proposal stated.
the waves--
they whispered in a salty spray,
begging me to remain nestled
among the crystals of the beach.
maybe if it wasn’t high tide,
i would have put up a fight.
but instead,
i let you pull me into your waters.
gently and cautiously,
you ripped me away
from everything i had ever known,
pulling me past the fading corals
into the abyss.
still--it wasn’t anything more
than infatuation.
the desire to hold you
and your parasites of apps,
because everyone else
had already had their turn.
i admit i wanted to be a part
of your underwater treasure,
exploring the never-ending scenery
one swipe at a time.
but i hit the iceberg
sooner than i thought.
without warning,
the tsunami crashed in,
destroying everything in its path.
it was too late.
hiding behind you,
my laugh
unheard,
my personality
masked.
how was i supposed to jump into life
and land into a tide pool
of new interests and hobbies
when you were
decompartmentalizing me?
how was i supposed to stray
from the horizontal lines
within the stepped leader,
when the algorithms trapped me
inside their waves?
how could i do anything
when i was just your puppet on a string?
now i don’t know what it means
to connect face-to-face.
i’ll call,
but only if your moonlight shell touches my ear.
i'll talk,
but only if i can see the weightless blue bubbles
popping up on my screen.
there’s nothing wrong
with wanting to stay in touch.
but when touch becomes lost
and our metal boxes replace our larynx,
only then do we realize how twisted we are
in the spiderweb of disconnection.
only when we put our ears to the hills
and listen closely that we witness
they are no longer alive with music
but endless tapping.
only then do we realize
how detached we are
from the grasslands,
the prairies and the coves.
we are all lost in the haze.
too invested in
creating the perfect picture,
texting the funniest meme,
filming the video that one day
will go viral.
i keep telling myself
i’m just one click away
from stepping out of my cocoon
and venturing outside
the brick walls of social media.
from breaking this contract
and reconnecting with the sweet melody nature sings,
taking a sample of nature’s perfume.
but in this age of technology
that we’ve created,
in this age of virtual hangouts
and communicating through texts,
the fundamentals of friendship are broken
and i don’t know how to mend the gaps
from online to IRL.
