i started chewing my gum too soon
it’s sort of an art form i aspire to perfect
my own personal game, an inside joke with the one I know best
you try to unstick the piece of gum from the rest that it is so desperately clinging to
the piece puts up a bit of a fight, much happier to remain in the pack
you unwrap it as silently as possible
pull your mask down and back up again
—you know the drill—
one fell swoop
then pop the gum in
experience the refreshing and familiar burst of flavor.
the trick is to pop it in right before the
roar of the engines.
the plane rattles
the game has begun
all of your body weight pressed back into your seat
and then
up
up
up.
that’s my favorite moment.
when, in a moment of confusion
your body believes it is weightless
so relieved to no longer be held down by the sheer force of speed
legs tingling
or are they numb?
sudden hush of white noise
but yes as i was saying
the trick is to pop the gum in right before takeoff
this time, like so many other times
i was fooled by the taxi
silly me
we’re not taking off yet
just traveling to the runway
the connecting piece to a world of possibilities
but we have not yet entered the world of possibilities
and so now, when i need the gum the most
to stop the dreadful
pop
pop
pop
it will be flavorless
i popped the gum in at the wrong time
truly believing that this
this was the moment
things were going to start happening
but it was a false start.
last year was a false start for so many of us
january and february were spent
buckling our seatbelts
stowing our luggage in the overhead bin
preparing for flight.
and we knew the path there might be bumpy
but when we took off it would be glorious
instead
we never even made it to the runway
we’re still sitting in our seats
waiting for action
waiting to seize the day
watching the “best years of our lives”
slip away
i don’t even want to say its name
i’m tired of seeing it in every headline
text
test result
cancelled plan
death notice
let’s try a few alternate phrases
you know them already
unforeseen circumstances
trying times
unprecedented events
something so powerful
so disruptive.
so able to lord over us
and our
families
loved ones
hopes and dreams
we don’t even need to see its name
to recognize what it can do
what it has done
what could’ve become
but it was a false start.
freshman were flowers ready to blossom
to grow, to learn, to meet new people
a fresh start
sophomores eagerly awaited return
so happy to have finally found their place, their people
a firm foundation
juniors set their eyes on the horizon
secretly ready to utter those mocked words, “study abroad changed me”
a new perspective
seniors stretched their fingers as far as they could
longing to embracing their friends for the last time
a last hurrah.
we’re still sitting on the runway
pack of gum in hand
ready.
and now we know
what exhilarating feelings we’ve missed
what we hold dear
what we’ll make sure to treasure
this time.
it was a false start.
but that won’t make our takeoff any less glorious
