Trash Talk: Worst Dates



One for 'Star Wars'

Tinder dates are never really a great idea, but this one was far worse than I was expecting. Not only did he not pay for my coffee or tip our waitress, he left me outside while I was paying for my own ticket for "Star Wars." When I met him inside he had already bought a small drink and popcorn and said, “Oh, did you want something?” We were waiting for the previews to start, and he proudly flashed me his phone, “Look, new Tinder match!”

Yikesaroni Grill 

He had been my waiter at Romano's Macaroni Grill a few nights before. We texted for a few days before meeting for coffee. He was 5'3" (I'm 5'1") and had nails painted with crackle nail polish. He had a car and offered to take me grocery shopping. After going to Publix, he took me on an hour-long ride around Columbia. With breadsticks and coffee being our only sources of interaction, I was naturally freaked. He dropped me off at my dorm after trying to initiate a make-out session in a medical center parking lot. I texted him that it was a no-go later that night, only to discover I had left my groceries in his car.

The Fast and the Curious

He was walking me home after a short dinner date, and I had made up my mind in the first five minutes that there wouldn’t be a second. Over the course of our conversation, I mentioned my love for muscle cars and that my favorite Christmas movie was "Die Hard" (and carefully rejected his offer to take me to see the fifth "Die Hard" movie — I explained I couldn’t let John McClane break my heart again). As we reached my street, he blurted, “You like cars, you like action movies ... Tell me, in what other ways are you like a man?”

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