As the last week of my life as a teenager begins, I am faced with the daunting task of recollecting the past 10 years of my life. It’s hard enough to recount my adventures from this past New Year’s Eve, so remembering a decade is a bit overwhelming. Although the title of this piece may suggest some ironically unfashionable choices, I was quite serious in it. I haven’t always had my own look or aesthetic, and the horrible fashion choices I made in my tween and early teen years were quite horrible indeed (Isn’t that true for everyone? Hello, chokers!). But strung throughout the past 10 years of my life were some choices I made consciously that helped guide me to the person I am today.
1. Shaving Half of My Head
Perhaps that’s an exaggeration, maybe it’s only a third of my hair that’s shaved to the skin, but alas, that doesn’t have the same ring to it. On March 12, 2011—my junior year of high school—I went to a local mall and asked them to cut off half my hair. I still remember the sheer exhilaration and excitement that I felt as soon as the shears snipped away my hair and I created what would become my signature hairstyle. Although my twin sister is the one who felt my parent’s wrath at this decision, since she was home when I called them and told them what I had done, I have never regretted this haircut since the day I got it. I don’t truly believe my hair is responsible for my confidence, self-worth or sense of self. I believe these things all rely on a myriad of emotions, decisions and experiences. I do believe, however, that having something that I love which helps shape me into who I am every day contributes largely to my sense of self and my confidence. If anything else, this odd haircut has taught me that the only person who has to be secure and happy about my choices is me… something very important to remember when people are constantly giving you the side eye.
2. Starting My Blog
I started my fashion blog Breathing Fashion in August of my sophomore year of high school, and let me tell ya, both it and I have come a long way. I’ve wanted to be a fashion journalist since about 14 and everything I read about being successful as a fashion writer suggested starting off with a blog to cultivate your own style and your voice as a writer. Well, it was a rocky road, but four and a half years later, Breathing Fashion is one of my biggest achievements to date. I’ve not only truly become a better writer, but I’ve really developed my own style and have met some incredibly talented individuals through blogging. I have had the amazing opportunity to work with some fantastic brands like Warby Parker and I’ve learned a lot about myself along the way as well. It hasn’t been easy to keep up a commitment like blogging, but I’ve learned that hard work pays off in the long run. If starting my blog has taught me anything it’s that it is a true blessing to be able to pursue your passion and use it to create and inspire others.
3. Dying my Hair Black
I describe my style as high fashion death queen, and what’s more death-queen-esque than half a shaved head and midnight black hair? Absolutely nothing. Anyway, I was finally able to convince my mother to let me dye all of my hair jet black when I was going into my freshman year of college and just like my undercut, there has been no going back. My black hair and black wardrobe make me feel confident, powerful and able to concur whatever the universe throws at me and that’s a gift I would like to keep for as long as I can.
4. Wearing Red Lipstick (Almost) Every Day
I started wearing red lipstick regularly my senior year of high school. My mother politely handed me seven of her empty MAC cosmetic cases and told me to go pick out a free orangey-red lipstick from the MAC counter since she wasn’t feeling my “British Red” Revlon shade. That was the day angels sang, cherubs shined their smiles on me and God herself lowered “So Chaud” into my hands. This has been my signature red ever since. I alternate between this orangey-red and Kat Von Dee’s “A Go Go” a straight orange, almost every day. I switch it up with dark purple, tangerine and even black lipsticks depending on my outfit, but there has probably been a total of a week and a half in the past two years that I haven’t worn lipstick. Some people wear rings, some people wear eye shadow, some people are nudists and I am a lipstick wearer. I love it and it makes me feel like I can consume the souls of mortal men. The choice to be a dedicated lipstick fanatic was a great one and I can’t wait to conduct a scientific experiment one day to see how much lipstick I consume annually (by accident while eating food, obviously).
5. Reading Steinbeck
If you know me or follow me on social media (or have read my Twitter and Instagram bio), you will know I am the number one John Steinbeck fan girl. Although I read “Of Mice and Men” my sophomore year of high school, I didn’t fall in love Steinbeck’s work until I had to read “The Grapes of Wrath” in my senior year of high school; there has been no going back since. Steinbeck has this incredible insight on the human spirit and has such a penchant for creating characters that are so real that your heart yearns for them. If there’s one author who has made me stop in my tracks and truly think about life and humanity, it’s Steinbeck. I don’t truly know how to describe what it is that stirs in my soul when I read his words, but it’s something profound and soft. I think everyone should read “East of Eden” in their lifetime; it will teach you about life, dignity and love, and the ultimate strength of choice that’s innate and buried deep in one’s core. Reading Steinbeck’s work has honestly helped shape me as a person and I am so indebted to him and his words for that.
Obviously there are many contributing factors to what helps shape you from year to year, and I think every person I have met in this life, as well as every experience and conversation I have had, have helped to mold me into who I am. I am thankful for each and every one of these people and things, good or bad. I think as long as you learn from something then you shouldn’t regret it.
What’s better than a beautiful life with no regrets?
