Have you been home from college and had your parents heckle you about not having a boyfriend or girlfriend? I know I have, and it has put some unnecessary pressure on me to dive into the deep end of the dating pool. But it doesn’t have to be like that; in fact, it shouldn’t be. While some people may be dating in college to find their soul mate, a lot of us are just looking for a good time. Casual dating, “talking” and “just hanging out” are the most common forms of dating in the world of higher education. You don’t have to be hubby-hunting or looking for a wife by the time you graduate in order to have a little fun and meet some swell people. Between campus wide activities, hitting the bars downtown, social media and a plethora of other social situations, there are plenty of ways to connect with cool people who you may have a potential connection with.
Dating in college doesn’t have to be more daunting than that 10 page paper you haven’t started yet. Social applications like Tinder have taken over college campuses around the nation. They may have started as a joke for some of us, but recently these apps have had more common use. Here’s how it works: You anonymously swipe someone’s picture to the right to “like” them, and if they do the same to you, you’re a match! While it may seem like the shallowest form of profiling, in truth, it’s the most efficient. After all, physical attraction is one of the main factors in the hunt for a mate. I myself have a Tinder profile and use it more actively than I might like to admit (mostly when I’m bored in class).
-Don’t be too persistent. Wait for someone you message to actually message you back before double-messaging them.
-NEVER drink and Tinder. You will end up with a hangover and a bunch of messages from people you would never actually talk to sober.
-Swipe right people you know out of politeness, and hope that they recognize you and don’t try to hit on you.
But we can’t forget about the ever-popular Facebook either– a portal for interacting with anyone you may or may not actually know in real life. Since it’s so easy to type in a name and view a ton of information on a person’s profile, Facebook gives us immediate access to discover things about someone we may be curious about. Whether you’re adding new friends or actually planning to meet a person in real life, Facebook can be a great tool for both casual chatting and covert stalking. Just try not to add people you’ve never actually met, especially if you have no mutual friends. Nobody wants to get Catfished.
Speaking of Catfish, the show’s host and executive producer, Nev Schulman, says that the internet can be extremely valuable despite his own experiences.
“I think there is a great resource in the internet for dating just for the sheer exposure to people that you wouldn’t have otherwise met. Presuming everyone uses it honestly and with the best intentions, I think it’s a terrific way to find love,” he says.
According to Schulman, the internet itself is not to blame for deceptive encounters. Instead, it’s dishonest people who are responsible for the negative stigma that currently surrounds online dating.
“I’ve heard stories that are far crazier than Catfish where people in real-life have been tricked by somone they were in a relationship with for months. People lie, online or not. You just always have to be careful when you’re becoming intimate with someone.”
But when you’re not instant messaging a potential lover, bars in 5 Points and the Vista can be some of the most exciting places to mingle. It is true that most people go downtown to party with friends, but that doesn’t mean you can’t brush elbows with someone new and different. Sure, the occasional drunken make-out session is always fun (see @gamecockmakeouts), but plenty of steady relationships have developed out of that one night of fun. When I venture to 5 Points, it’s easy to be someone I’m not, especially with a little liquid courage. This is not to say that you should lie about who you are, but you can be a little more audacious in your conversation. loose!
Here are some helpful hints for maximizing your party experience:
-Be aware. Alcohol makes us do dumb things, and may cause you not to notice when you’re annoying whoever you’re talking to. If it doesn’t seem like the person is into it, they probably aren’t, so move on.
-Do what you want. Don’t stand around like a stick in the mud if you really want to be dancing on the bar. Let your hair down and don’t let people judging you stop you from having a good time. Chances are that everyone else is doing something equally embarrassing.
-Be outgoing. If you’ve been flirting with someone all night and can’t bear to see them go at last call, march over there and get his or her number. If you’ve been interested in each other all night, give it a try sober – you never know what might happen.
Getting involved on campus is also one of the best ways to find a potential partner. Chances are the club or organization you are joining will have a myriad of other people with your same interests in mind, eliminating the hardship of having to make small talk about what each of you likes to do.
From workout classes and intramural sports at Strom, trips with Outdoor Recreation, or community service with Serve Carolina, you never know who you might meet if you open up a little bit. If you’re sizing someone up in a club or group, start a conversation with the entire group and see what kind of input that specific person provides. This is a sneaky way to check for compatibility. If you like what you’re hearing, continue the conversation one-on-one and let it flow from there. Some events to keep in mind are the Greek festival, Oktoberfest and 5k races.
Otherwise, just be friendly. Don’t keep your face in your phone whenever you’re on campus, you’ll look antisocial. Smile at people. Make small talk while you’re in line for food at Russell House or on the 11-floor elevator ride with a stranger. Talk to people in your classes; make study groups and kill two birds with one stone! It’s hard for most of us to go up to someone we may find interesting and strike up a conversation.
So if you’re like me and you essentially blush on command, your best bet may be something on the internet or social media side of things. But if you’re feeling bold, downtown is also a great place to meet a plethora of new people. Just make no promises that you’ll remember each other on Friday morning. Dating in college is supposed to be fun, not stressful. So put yourself out there and don’t be afraid to send that cute guy or girl in your economics class a friend request.
