Almost every USC student has woken up after a long night in Five Points to arguably the worst feeling in the world: a hangover. It’s too late to think about chugging water before bed, and since there’s no point in wallowing about what you should have done last night, the only thing left to do is go out for brunch. Slap a few makeup-removing wipes on your face, shake off your spinning cranium and head into the world to cure yourself the old fashioned way: greasy food (duh). Luckily for everyone, there are a lot of great options in Columbia that’ll solve any problems left over from the night before.
The Gourmet Shop
Like any serious writer, I prepare myself (a little too well, in fact) for the assignment and wake up entirely too early on a Saturday morning with a queasy disposition. Throwing on sunglasses that will definitely make me look like a normal human being, I head off to the first stop on the list: The Gourmet Shop. Within only a few minutes, I face the first problem of this journey: the unexpectedly loud noises coming from inside the building. This commotion is indicative of The Gourmet Shop’s obvious success within the Columbia food scene, since it’s almost always packed with people waiting for a table. The wait, however long, is always worth it in the end, and so I tough it out for a few agonizing minutes. Upon sitting, I immediately order a personal brunch favorite: the Brie and Bacon Croissant. Dripping with warm, gooey cheese and greasy bacon, it’s one of those things that can cure your hangover on sight. In these brief moments, I am sure it is the most delicious food I have ever tasted. Not a fan of French cheeses? That’s fine too; try its Famous Chicken Salad, or create your own sandwich. It’s guaranteed to be as delicious as it is high-class, and you’ll feel like a champ afterwards.
Crepes And Croissants
Like any serious writer, I prepare myself (a little too well, in fact) for the assignment and wake up entirely too early on a Saturday morning with a queasy disposition. Throwing on sunglasses that will definitely make me look like a normal human being, I head off to the first stop on the list: The Gourmet Shop. Within only a few minutes, I face the first problem of this journey: the unexpectedly loud noises coming from inside the building. This commotion is indicative of The Gourmet Shop’s obvious success within the Columbia food scene, since it’s almost always packed with people waiting for a table. The wait, however long, is always worth it in the end, and so I tough it out for a few agonizing minutes. Upon sitting, I immediately order a personal brunch favorite: the Brie and Bacon Croissant. Dripping with warm, gooey cheese and greasy bacon, it’s one of those things that can cure your hangover on sight. In these brief moments, I am sure it is the most delicious food I have ever tasted. Not a fan of French cheeses? That’s fine too; try its Famous Chicken Salad, or create your own sandwich. It’s guaranteed to be as delicious as it is high-class, and you’ll feel like a champ afterwards.
Cafe Strudel
Another day, another brunch. The last stop on my hangover tour is Café Strudel in West Columbia. This comes as a recommendation from friends who swear by its brunch menu, but I have never been myself. The one drawback is that it only offers its brunch menu on Sundays. (For Monday – Saturday, it’s a breakfast menu, and let’s be honest, I’m not an early morning person.) The line is stretched out the door when I arrive. Believe me, standing in the hot Columbia sun is absolutely miserable, but the promise of food makes me persevere. One glance at the menu and I am newly baptized a Strudler. I mean, it even has Hangover Hash Browns as an option, so I know that I’ve found a place free of judgment. Proudly, I take off the sunglasses and, with unfocused eyes, request the famous hash browns and an order of cinnamon pancakes. The hash browns come with onions, tomatoes, banana peppers and cheese; I was reluctant at first, but those hash browns turned out to be the kind of food you find yourself whispering “yes ma’am” to. Likewise, the cinnamon pancakes are a perfectly sweet addition, and I gladly hoard all of my leftovers like a squirrel preparing for hibernation. If you’re feeling more adventurous after a night out – or if it just seems easier to keep partying – order the Smoky Bacon Bloody Mary. I didn’t try it myself, but how could anyone go wrong with bacon-infused vodka?
