I'm sitting in Boombox Guy's living room, a place most never see, and everything around me screams stories that I can't seem to write down fast enough.

Metallic Pac-Man cutouts line the walls. A spear gun is suspended from the ceiling. There’s a homemade ball pit and a dresser-turned-TV-stand découpaged with Van Gogh.

Boombox Guy climbs carefully out of the ball pit nestled in the corner by the couch.

“So, tell me about yourself,” I say as he steps over the six boom boxes strewn across his floor.

“You’re welcome to have some Diet Dr Pepper,” he responds instead, and settles on the sofa across from me. “And some cookies too,” he adds.

Video: Style, Winter 2010, Vintage Venture.

 

Today, in 2010, only a decade after the inauguration of the feared millennium, your CarolinaCard doesn’t work off campus, Cocky’s Caravan absorbs the majority of your student fee and the Thomson Student Health Center is an eyesore rivaling the scoreboard after a Clemson football game.

You know the game. You’ve probably played it in some form before – sitting in a circle, all 10 fingers displayed and each person admitting to some “sexcapade” or exaggerated act of humiliating indecency that he or she has never done. If the competing players are guilty of the action, they put fingers down and drink.

It was my sophomore year, and the round was coming to an end with bursts of empathetic laughter over the slyly revealed misdeeds of my friends, but I still had all my fingers up. My turn came, and reluctantly, I said: “Never have I ever had sex.”

If USC were Hogwarts

*This isn't meant to offend anyone. Don't get mad if we said you're Hufflepuff.