2. Flowers and teddy bears are nice, I guess, but honestly I’d much rather have a new purse or a pair of killer shoes. That way when my friends compliment me, I can say, “My boyfriend got them for me” (even if you just surprise me with a shopping trip, and I pick them out). Because let’s be honest, last year’s heart-shaped love necklace was stupid. “Kiss” may begin with K, but Kay ends in Y! As in, Y the hell did you think I would like this?!

3. Don’t. Buy. Me. Chocolate. It. Makes. Me. Fat...ter.

4. And to be completely contradictory (because that’s the language we girls speak, anyway) – I love food. If you’re taking me to dinner, which you should, don’t go anywhere that is remotely chain-y. Local is better. There are tons of sweet date spots with impressive food and intimate atmospheres.

5. Tell me I’m pretty.

6. Duh.