By: Julia Hienz
We’ve all done it: flirtatiously made eyes with that hottie across the room secretly (or blatantly, maybe) hoping that they’re single. Although it may be impossible to know exactly what someone is thinking about you, being able to read body language can help decode some of their opinions. G&B has done the research and picked out the most important physical cues to familiarize yourself with before heading down to Five Points. Read on and let the bodies do the talking.
As obvious as it seems, making and holding eye contact is the first clear hint that someone may be into you. This goes for both sexes, and if eye contact is followed up with a smile or they move to be in a closer proximity, chances are they feel some attraction. Additionally, if you find yourself face-to-face with someone and notice that their pupils dilate (get larger), it’s good news: this is a physiologic response that occurs when a person finds someone attractive.
Mirror, Mirror on the Wall
Another common body language sign of both males and females is mimicking each other’s movements. It can be as subtle as uncrossing legs or taking a bite of food after the other person does. Mirroring allows one to sympathize with another without using words, and puts two people in sync. Pay attention next time you are sitting with a crush and see if they copy your moves!
Whip My Hair
Females do a variety of subconscious things to attract potential mates. One of the most telltale signs that a woman digs you is if she touches or fixes her hair when you’re around. General primping, also known as “preening” shows a woman is attempting to look their best and amp up attractiveness. If you’re spitting game to a girl and you notice she’s doing this: keep it up. She’s into you.
Reading lips (and I don’t mean from your buddy, mouthing the words “it’s in the bag” from across the bar) is another way to decipher a woman’s feelings about you. When a female finds someone attractive, she will do anything and everything to draw attention to her mouth. Common motions include pouting, licking, biting, and/or touching their lips.
Women tend to fidget when they’re nervous. It’s a natural reaction that helps the body rid excess energy caused by anxiety. If you see a girl playing with her jewelry or steadily tracing the rim of a glass while around a certain person, she probably likes them and may have preoccupied thoughts about what she looks like or what to say.
Call Me Maybe
Men’s sexual body language errs on the side of primitive in comparison to women’s. One example being extremely loud laughter or talking. Bellowing chuckles allow a man to “mark his territory,” so to speak. It alerts to other males in the surrounding vicinity that the woman being spoken to is “theirs.” A subtler way that attracted men “mark territory” is by finding any opportunity to touch you, even in the slightest.
I’m Kind of a Big Deal
Another interested body language indicator is displayed when a guy sits up straighter or tries to make himself appear larger when you’re around. Attempting to be the largest shows that a man desires to be the “alpha male.” Prehistorically, the alpha male of a group was also the man most desired by women. A guy is probably REALLY interested if he also has open body language, like spread legs, uncrossed arms or is faced towards you.
If you’re talking to a cutie and want to know if they think you’re cute too, look no further than the nose. This may be one of the smallest attraction hints, but flared nostrils many times indicate that a dude is turned on by your presence. A nervous, rapid heart beat requires more oxygen and flared nostrils allow for more air to enter the body. So don’t be creeped out if you see this, he’s probably just breathing heavier, not trying to get a whiff of your perfume.
When my dad was in college and he wanted to see a girl, he gave her a phone call and if she accepted, they went on a date. Twenty years later, I’m sitting in a college classroom thinking about how I haven’t really been on a date since I have been to college. Personal problem? Maybe - I am hoping to attribute the lack of romantic outings in my life to the huge difference in our generations and a new application called Tinder.
These days, if girls want to know what guys are into them, they don’t wait around for a phone call. Boys don’t need to worry about a rejection either, because now they have a heads up to whether or not the girl they saw in Five Points the previous weekend is actually interested or if she just wanted a free drink. Thanks to Hatch Jobs Inc., girls and boys alike can avoid putting themselves out there at all.
When I first heard about Tinder, it was in humorous conversations where people were making fun of their friends for having an insta-dating application on their phone. In the midst of Manti T'eo and Catfish drama, Tinder was a joke. Soon enough though, everyone was talking about Tinder; what started as a joke became serious. When I realized every single one of my roommates and friends seemed to have it, curiosity got the cat and I downloaded the application.
What did I discover? In order to set up your Tinder profile, the application syncs to your Facebook and allows you to choose five or so pictures from that profile to use for your Tinder. Obviously everyone chooses the most photogenic pictures they have, whether they’re accurate or not. Using pre-sets on your profile, the application finds people within a set mile radius. You can scroll through a potential match’s photos, mutual Facebook friends and what interests you have in common. If you like them and they like you, you’re a match and can use the app to converse privately. If you hit dislike, the person will never know; if a person dislikes you, you’ll never know. If your boyfriend/girlfriend is conversing with others via Tinder – you’ll never know.
Almost every profile that appears for a like or dislike is someone I already know or could easily go about meeting on my own, if interested enough. This application provides another way to allow technology to replace guts and courage utilized in my dad’s time.
I have come across several university athletes, fathers posing with their children and friends I see every day while playing the “Tinder game.” The variety of Tinder users is at large; I just choose not to be one of them. I deleted the app, not able to take it seriously. I won’t use it to find a “match” with someone I already know. I’d rather just meet them through fate. If you’re laughing at me for counting on fate to find love, just remember you’re probably the one counting on Tinder (we can call it even).
Image Source: Madisyn Kellough
Last semester, I had an English professor who made us analyze and interpret a fake text conversation he created between a boy and a girl who had just gone out on a date. We looked at the times the texts were sent, the use of punctuation and emoticons, and the general enthusiasm of the messages to determine that, despite the girl’s high hopes, the boy is probably never going to ask her out again.
The point of the lesson was to teach us to look for details while reading in order to understand the overall meaning of the content. It was a creative and effective lesson, but aside from its intended purpose, it got me thinking, 'Why must it take a group of people, analyzing a hypothetical text message conversation as if their grade depends on it, to decipher a text?'
More importantly, why can’t people straight-up cut to the chase?
Don’t get me wrong, I love to text, and I have definitely partaken in a fair share of group texts sessions, with the common questions that arise, needing outsider interpretaton:
"What should I say back to him?"
"Should I answer right away or make him wait?"
"Does this exclamation mark make me sound too interested?"
It's frustrating; today's dating world insists you 'talk' before you 'date.' SO MUCH PRESSURE goes into the exact phrasing, length, and hesitant use of the smiley face (Advice to follow, NO WINKY FACE). It’s a pretty superficial way to get to know someone; people aren’t really candid through text. They don’t have to respond immediately with whatever pops into their head. And don’t even get me started on context. You mean something one way, they take it another. Sarcasm just comes off as a bad attitude, and everything is so 'lol' and 'haha' that you don’t know what is genuinely considered funny anymore.
At the risk of sounding nostalgic, I wish we could go back to an era of dating that didn’t involve technology. Life would be so much less confusing and time consuming.
I’m busy. I don’t have time to text you nonstop in order to prove my affections for you. If you want to talk to me, do it in person, to my face, without a team of experts helping you string together each sentence and then decode mine. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way from time to time.
Image Source: http://www.jcrew.com/womens_feature/NewArrivals.jsp?intcmp=home_p1_promo_w&navLoc=promo#page1
Contrary to popular belief, there are many college students who have a predisposition that they will find their “true love” at college. Hearing stories of their parents meeting as undergrads or friends who have found their carbon copy during their school years puts a subconscious mental strain on the college brain.
Most students mask the thought of wanting to find Mr. or Mrs. Right in front of their peers, but it can't be argued that the thought hasn't passed through almost every student’s mind. If you are a firm believer that the right person is awaiting you in school, here are some things to keep in mind when you think someone may actually show potential:
- Remember to stay true to who you are. Pretending to be someone you aren't with hopes of impressing somebody is only masking your real personality. You will find the right person doing the things YOU like to do.
- Be happy with where you are presently. If you are overwhelmed with past relationship memories, schoolwork or any other personal issues, and think focusing on making a relationship with someone will drive those feelings away, you’re wrong. All it does is build up more emotion you don’t need. A relationship should be an added bonus to your life, not a stress factor.
- Everybody has flaws, including YOU. It comes down to a matter of which flaws you can tolerate and which you cannot. Be aware of the double standard; criticism not only comes from you, but can also be directed your way. As long as you and your significant other can compromise and accept each others' pet peeves, you'll be fine.
- Remember the “Golden Rule” we learned as children; treat others the way you would like to be treated. In terms of relationships, the person you want to invest your admiration in must treat you with the same respect that you entrust in them. A strong relationship has equal dedication coming from both sides.
Keep in mind that all relationships are different, but every person deserves the best with what they are willing to offer. As cliché as it is, listen to your heart. If you don’t feel happiness in a department that is important to you, be strong enough to let go. There are more opportunities out of college, don’t lose hope. Settle for the best, not less.
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