In case you've been completely cut off from the internet for the past week (don't know what a week is? Watch the video and you'll be educated forthwith!), join the other 30 million youtube viewers in the hilarity that is Rebecca Black's hit single: FRIDAY.

Sorry not sorry if this is littered with typos/thingsthatdon'tmakesense.

But why would this blog deviate from my usual grammatical perfection you ask?

My diet consists of Red Bull shots, green tea antioxidant supplements and banana popsicles. My day planner is about to fucking explode with all of the shit I have written in it. My most recent trip to Wal-Mart resulted in a $40 purchase of anti-wrinkle moisturizer, nail polish, more sharpie pens so I can write even more shit in my day planner and various forms of caffeine.

Okay, so I have to give props to Urban Outfitters for their taste in music, but they really need to stop shitting on the concept of typographic design. 

STOP WITH THE THROWBACK TO WORD ART. We get it. You're so hip and avant garde that submitting to the ideals of society and the theories of graphic design & balanced aesthetics is beneath your holga 35 milimeters, your custom-made I'm-trendier-than-you-could-ever-be bicycles and your books of questionably legality (especially in SC).

I know I've touched on this subject before, which is precisely why my friend from Las Vegas posted this on my facebook wall which consequently inspired the rapid thought process which led to the two things I really want to say:

1. Chaz Bundick is a secretly famous musical demigod.

2. Visiting urbanoutfitters.com WILL INDUCE VOMITING.

Image Credit

1. Don’t cover my bed in freaking rose petals. There are better ways to get laid than postponed domestic labor. As if you’re going to pick up the mess later. Please.

There are two things really, really wrong with this Situation:

Stop freaking the hell out, everyone. Read something. No, you don't have to get your scorpio tramp stamp removed. You didn't suddenly turn into an Aries and the stars didn't move with no one noticing for decades.

Sorry I'm not sorry I'm a font snob. And that every time I see CurlzMT on my frutti cup, I wonder why I didn't go to Yoghut. And that I refuse to eat at Chipotle because its logo is written in Papyrus (I mean, I do eat there because it's so yum, but I've definitely considered a boycott). It seems to me that 2010 was a big year for logo fuss. And while things like the Gap debacle and Urban Outfitters' foolish business on its website showed up in my Facebook status with great animosity attached, there were actually nice design decisions made by some people, which is kind of refreshing. A year in review:

Why I love the holidays:

1. Egg nog

2. Cold weather (fuck you, SC)

3. LEFTOVERS!!!!

I'll have to agree with the Countess when she says money can't buy you class, but apparently it can buy you a hoard of gay european men who will awkwardly lay around you on a red alligator bed. It'll also buy you an intense auto-tune job.