Well, we can only hope that the end of 2010 indicates the end of severely embarrassing defeats and questionable mistakes from the G-cocks. I became so fed up watching the overthrows and overthinking that I formulated my own New Year’s resolutions for the team. Optimistically thinking, these goals will surpass the typical life expectancy for resolutions and transfer into next season.

Kyle Parker hung his head in disappointment, Dabo almost left the field, and Tiger fans poured more and more mini bottles into their drinks in misery. That’s just the way we like it.

Remember the awkward middle-school-sport era when coaches would make you stop scoring if you were winning by too much? “It hurts the other team’s feelings.”

Let’s just say Spurrier is not one of those coaches. On Saturday the Gamecocks brutally stomped the Trojans into that pretty green field called Williams Brice. And they didn’t let up till the refs called game. Sorry we’re not sorry.

We thought it was over right when it began. We thought it was another one of those games. It was a “go, fight, win, kick…well, shit” kind of kick off. And as Florida took the ball and sprinted towards an inevitable touchdown, we turned our heads in not-so-unusual shame. But this time, it was Florida that got a little too cocky.

I guess that’s why they call us the "Shamecocks". In case you’ve been living under a stupid rock…we were that team last night. The one that lost their homecoming. But go ahead, blame it on whatever you want. Here is what I think screwed us over:

Get on my level.

It’s common human behavior to think we could do a better job in the coaches’ or players’ shoes. We see ourselves making flawless catches, foolproof calls and even hard tackles that “normal” players just let slip by. I can write this blog and bitch and moan about how they should have done this or that, but in hopes of an actual athlete stumbling upon this in his Google search one day, I have a few questions for the team thus far.

 1.)  Who. Is. Marcus. Lattimore?

2.)  Does anyone have Auburn QB Cameron Newton’s phone number? But really, I’d like to discus some...plays of his from the last game.

3.)  Why Connor Shaw?

And finally my classic question…

4.)  Really, Garcia?

Lattimore, the literally unstoppable freshie from Sparkle City, accumulated 366 yards in the first four games. Um, what? And he has plenty more games to keep gathering those yards to (hopefully) break the record for freshmen. Speaking of young ones, remember when Alshon Jeffrey was a freshman? Yea, well he’s done playing around with those freshmen jitters…and continues to impress us.

Also, I can’t write this without fawning over Bryan Maddox. The boy has got hops. I wish he would be for real and admit that he planned that jump over the Auburn player just to land on ESPN…but more power to him.

Speaking of power, Spurrier is getting insulted for abusing his—as demonstrated in the last game. He admits to putting Shaw in because Garcia was “woozy.” But why are fans angry? Shaw needed to experience a true game, and did an admirable job in it.

We’ll have to wait and see what the Gamecocks have to offer in future games…but for now, we just have to sit back and imagine ourselves doing a better job at it.

When you find yourself at Williams-Brice Stadium in a sea of fans that seemingly belong, don’t let yourself stick out in the crowd. Accomplishing this entails hating a rival team that you’d never heard of until logging on to Ticket Return. It entails pretending to know those annoying cheers that you ignored at First Night Carolina. You have to do these things because football in the South is a way of life — and even if it’s not your way of life, you should pretend. Even if you’re just bullshitting.