Health: How To Give Your Girlfriend A Breast Exam

Q&A with Kallie Linsberg

My best friend came into town last week and I decided that it would be fun to go to dinner with some friends that night. At dinner we were all talking and having fun until I noticed a pause in the conversation. I looked up from my menu and realized that all five people were on their phones texting/browsing the web/Facebooking/Tweeting/whatever. This literally went on for about five minutes.

I thought to myself, “Okay, I’ll give it a few more minutes and then I’m saying something.” I thought that I wouldn’t have to wait because surely someone else will notice the silence and realize how silly it is that we’re all here to hang out with each other, but instead not even engaging in any type of conversation.

Nope. I was the only one NOT on a phone. After waiting, I just went off at them in a half-joking, half-serious tone that we all use in order to avoid being too mean. But they just laughed and continued  staring at their phones.

This definitely wasn’t the first time that cell phone use has gotten on my nerves. It happens ALL the time! The worst is when you’re telling someone an important story, and the only response you get from them is, “Yeah,” without even looking up from their phone. When you didn’t even ask a question to begin with.

I mean, seriously! At parties, study groups or things that require attention to the group, I’m always finding a majority of people sitting on their phones disengaged. Why even go out if you’re going to stare at your phone all night? You might as well sit in front of a bigger screen at your house.

Obviously it’s perfectly fine if you’re using your phone for a few minutes, but lately I’ve been getting pissed at people who text while you’re trying to have a one on one convo with them. It’s so RUDE!

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Who do you think you are standing outside of the store asking people to buy you things, then acting like what they get isn’t good enough for you?

Last weekend, I left CVS and walked past this homeless man standing outside with a noticeably shy, quiet young man in front of him. The younger man had gone inside, bought a sub out of the kindness of his heart and brought it out to give to the guy. I walked by only to find that the homeless man was turning the sandwich around in his hands, saying, “No, this isn’t what I wanted.”

WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!? Just take the food, say thank you and go on your way. I mean what is it that you wanted, some beer? Cigarettes? The poor kid didn’t have to get you anything, but he did. Now you’re going to tell him that he didn’t get you the right kind of sandwich? I couldn’t believe what I had seen. If I was that kid, I would have snatched it right back from his hands and said, “Well then have a nice day.”

I can’t believe these people on the streets are acting like bullies. That wasn’t even the first time I witnessed a situation like that. It seems as if I can’t even walk into the grocery store without someone asking me for money. We’re all broke college kids, but we get targeted because we look vulnerable and too nice to say no. I always see the same homeless people on the side of the road with those black liquor store bags holding 40’s. I don’t understand, how do you have enough money to buy alcohol?

Well, whatever the case, these rude people are ruining it for the rest of the homeless population who are actually starving. The fact that he turned down a sandwich really makes me think, well is he really in need of food, or is it drugs or booze that he really wants?

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These are five reasons why rainy days piss me off:

1. You get all ready for the rain by bringing an umbrella (might I add that mine is oversized and pretty heavy), only to step outside and it’s barely drizzling. You don’t know whether you should actually open your umbrella because it’s not like your getting that wet, but then you figure you brought it all the way out so you might as well. Then you just look dumb carrying this big umbrella over your head when there’s really no rain falling.

2. After you splash around in puddles all day, you end up getting to your class late and having to walk to that open desk all the way across the room. Meanwhile, the entire class stares at you because your shoes squeak the whole way to your seat.

3. I’ll be walking out of the BA building just fine when all of a sudden I end up doing splits because the outside tiles and bricks are extremely slippery.

4. When I get to my car in the morning to drive, my windows are all fogged up because of the humidity outside. I can never remember if I have to turn on

the heat or the AC to get them clear so I end up just waiting in my car, after I’ve already gotten a late start.

5. Everyone is carrying an umbrella, so your umbrella ends up hitting everyone else’s that walks by, or you don’t have one and your hair gets caught on a

random persons rude, stray spokes.

However, there are three reasons why I love the rain:

1. You can be a little late to things. “It’s not your fault, there was traffic” (really you just didn’t feel like getting out of bed).

2. You don’t feel as bad about being stuck in the library working on your paper. It’s not like you can be tempted to be outside having fun in the sun

instead.

3. It’s just more of an excuse to watch movies, eat snacks and not spend extra time getting ready for class.

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OK, so we’ve all witnessed the “hot guy with the dog” thing, but lately a few things are getting out of control and not in a good way. I don’t know how many people I can name who invested in a pet for the wrong reasons. In my apartment complex alone, there are tons of neglected animals that are basically just there because their owners think it’s so cute to have a pet they can walk around the neighborhood while meeting other people with pets and become friends and blah blah blah.

The sad part is, students who don’t even have enough time to study have these poor animals cooped up inside the house or their rooms all day while they go to class. Then they get food with their friends, spend a few hours at the library and so on. By the time they get home to feed their pet, they’re exhausted and the walk they take their animals on actually turns out to be a walk to the end of the block to let them pee and straight back. It really is so sad to see!

I also hate when I walk into a party and the music is loud, there are tons of people falling over drunk, beer is on the floor and then I see a poor little dog that just wants to sleep in the corner because it’s scared and stressed out because of all of the strange people and loud noise. I have even witnessed the whole, “I’m going to dump my dog off on you for the weekend because I want to go out of town,” thing.

People, you don’t understand — pets are sort of like kids in the sense that they need lots of attention and love, and you can’t just drop them off for the weekend on your neighbor who doesn’t even know how to take care of it. You also can’t just leave and not tell your roommate you’re going away for the weekend to find the dog was left behind without getting a heads up (especially when it barks and cries the whole time because then my weekend is ruined, cough cough).

I really get annoyed when I see people who just want a dog because it gets them attention. I have definitely witnessed the whole “I really just want a dog because all the girls will stop and pet it and then I can get laid,” type of guy (because girls clearly do fall for that).

Seriously, think before you get a pet because it costs a lot of money and time (that you don’t have). I mean, really, do you think you can take a dog out at least three times a day, walk it and play with it all while trying to study, work and hang out with friends? No! So do your poor animal a favor and think about waiting until after college unless you really can be a good parent and adopt for all of the right reasons.

I understand that we 20-year-olds are past the whole boy band sensation these days. I mean, jumping on our beds in our training bras listening to ’N Sync was sooo 10 years ago. But let’s face it — the (sort of) new pop sensation has totally been the one-and-only Justin Bieber for the past three years, ever since his hit “One Time” came out. To this day, I still hear people make remarks like, “Ew, he’s so lame,” or “Seriously? He sucks!” Even when they hear his songs come on the radio, they say, “Kill me now.”

The best part is they don’t understand that they sound as dumb as we did in elementary school when we claimed we hated “Barney” and only watched it because our little brother or sister made us. Either way, all I have to say is, Justin Bieber is smart, talented and awesome (yeah, I’m not afraid to say it). First off, that boy can sing. If you’ve ever watched his YouTube videos or even just listened to his songs, you’d know he has major range. Also, he can pretty much play every instrument there is. He started playing drums at the age of two, and street performing at 13. On top of all that, he can dance, too.

Lastly is Justin Bieber’s charm. He knows exactly how to make the ladies swoon. At his concerts, he brings girls from the audience up on stage, hands them a bouquet of roses and dedicates the song to them. Now that’s genius. Those girls, their friends and all who witnessed it will be Bieber fans for life.

So there, I rest my case. Justin Bieber obviously has some damn talent and knows what he’s doing. He’s made $53 million in the past year (Forbes.com), has a hot girlfriend (Selena Gomez), coined his own haircut and had a movie made about him. So my only two explanations for all of those Bieber haters out there are:

A: You’re a guy and you can’t stand the fact that your girlfriend admires a 17-year-old who has already made his life savings and can dance, sing and play an instrument. Or-

B: You’re a girl and you really can’t accept that someone has replaced Justin Timberlake and Nick Lachey, and you’re still grieving the downfall of the boy band era.

I must add that, although I enjoy listening to most of his songs, I’m not a crazy obsessed Justin Bieber fan. I just feel the need to defend him because he actually does have talent, a brain and has definitely earned every bit of success he has made for himself. I believe he deserves some positive attention, and I am tired of hearing people bash him just because he has already accomplished his dreams in life.