No clue what I'm talking about? CLICK THE DAMN LINKS! I imbed them for a reason. You'll thank me, because I know you haven't gotten your fix of hilarious-smoker's-voice-rich-
Some good points are raised by this Housewife-of-New-York divorcee, like when she instructs us:
"Now ladies, don't forget / To allow the men you've met / To exemplify their very best behavior"
Damn right Countess LuAnn!!
What do you think about texting?!
"And the primary mistake / Texting on a date / If you make a lady wait she'll take a pass"
Mmmmhmm, girl! Tell em!
But oh my! What do I do when I'm around a bunch of people I don't know?!
"When entering a room / Greet everyone and soon / You'll be invited and entitled to the grandeur"
Thats both logical AND exciting! How about conversation?
"Your company should feel / When a conversation's real / Even if the topic feels like science class"
Yeah, I hate science class.
Don't you feel so smart now?! I'm so freaking glad Countess can answer everything I'd ever need to know about elegance. It's learned, my friends. So study up ladies, and embrace your new role model. You should always be looking for some good life advice.
And guys, don't worry, you're in luck too!! Just pay attention to shows like The Pickup Artist to teach you how to do a social 180.
Proof that people actually (sadly) do: this weekend, this pick up line happened:
"So I have a question for you: If a guy's in a bar and sees the most gorgeous girl he's ever seen, and he wants to break the ice, what should he say to her?"
To which I replied: "Uh, I don't know that's up to him."
To which he replied: "Uh, I don't know that's up to him."
Oh suuure! How freaking clever.
In case you're wondering...I ran away.