Warning: Potential Spoilers Ahead

 

This was my first experience with the series, and I must say that The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was a very good movie complete with interesting characters, suspense and believable action.

 

Looking back, it’s hard to say exactly who the protagonist is. The impetus in the story lies within Mikael Blomkvist’s (Daniel Craig) journalistic troubles but when all is said and done, at least to the extent that this story tells, I found myself much more curious about the past and future of Lisbeth Salander (Rooney Mara) who bears the dragon tattoo.

 

Now, it would be easy to say Salander is the protagonist but it is through Mikael that she is able to shine. He is no James Bond and finds himself in situations and interactions that many other people might experience – he sleeps with his boss, doesn’t quite understand his daughter and trips over his own feet.

 

And through this potential normalcy are the effects of Salander’s character, her immense social awkwardness, allowed to affect the audience. This combined with her technical intellect and the movie’s opening sequences are ways in which the movie seemingly tricks the audience into thinking it’s experiencing a story about the girl with the dragon tattoo when it is in fact experiencing an episode from the life of Lisbeth Salander, private investigator.

 

Well played.

 

 

Image Source: http://unlimfiles.com/img_store/0/45/17/35.jpg

For all the cool, useful things on YouTube, there exists 10 times as much stupid crap. Where else would you find a mash-up of anime and Creedence Clearwater Revival? Or a Creed tribute to some video game from when I was six? Or whatever the hell this is? But the absolute bottom-of-the-barrel insults to humanity itself are fan films. Basically, strip everything good and effective from some popular movie/game/TV program, add fat guys and shoot eight minutes with a camcorder, and you’ve got yourself a show. For example:

Disney’s latest crash-grab “Mars Needs Moms” has bombed so phenomenally it would make J. Robert Oppenhemier proud. It had the 12th worst opening ever for a film playing in 3,000-plus theaters and currently is on track to lose roughly $100 million. My question: Why the hell is anyone surprised?

I recently saw the “True Grit” remake, and my first thought was, “Hey, that was pretty decent”. Then I found out it was nominated for 10 Academy Awards, including a best lead performance for Jeff Bridges. Really? At the very most, you can only understand about 60 percent of what the hell he’s saying during the movie. I didn’t see “Pootie Tang” sweep during award season. But instead of complaining, for once I’m going to take a positive approach and talk about some great movies nobody liked.

As we approach awards season, one thing I notice is that the Oscars neglect to give some very important distinctions to some very special motion pictures released last year. So without ado, here are my accolades for the films of 2010:

I am going to be blunt: "The Town" really pissed me off. Here is a movie that has a cast of talented actors and a solid director, yet manages to waste its potential thanks to an absolutely boneheaded script. With a few rewrites, we could have had an excellent thriller that showcases the varying emotional conflicts faced by members of the criminal underworld (for this done right, see "The Professional"). Instead, what we are left with is a movie that is merely above average.

As we are all aware, 2010 has been a pretty terrible year for movies. Aside from a few bright spots (Inception, The Social Network, uh...Jackass 3D, I guess) the past eleven months have been dominated by crappy sequels and even crappier remakes. Personally, the prospect of another “Saw” movie seemed about as enjoyable as bad case of herpes, but seeing as it made 50 million at the box office I guess some weirdoes out there still needed their torture fix.

Not from "Twilight," but might as well be

At the Russell House: Twilight Eclipse (Oct. 8)

“The Twilight Saga: Eclipse” is a lot like the stomach flu: quick, nasty and likely
to induce vomiting. The sequel to arguably the worst movie I had to review last
year, “Eclipse” is slightly less boring and significantly more stupid. I guess that
technically makes it better. Picking up where “New Moon” left off, this installment
continues the timeless story of sparkly vampires, shirtless werewolves and the
women who love them (this Tuesday on "Maury"). I can tell you’re excited already.

I’m not exaggerating when I say without a doubt that “Eclipse” makes no damn sense
whatsoever. Take for example, the scene where a vampire punches a guy’s head
causing it to bloodlessly explode with the sound effect of a pot shattering. Or the
random Prohibition-Era-rape flashback, which seems a strange thing to include in what
I thought was a kid’s movie. In addition, the dialogue sounds like it was penned by
someone who has never once interacted with another human being. An example:

Edward: “Marry me.”
Bella: “I can’t, I have to be back at four.”

Oscar-worthy. Other than the occasional “so stupid, it’s funny” moment, “Eclipse” is
more of the same boring garbage we sat through two times before.

Overall when it comes to vampire movies, “Eclipse” ranks worse than “Jesus Christ:
Vampire Hunter” but slightly better than “Bleeders” (which is about incestuous mutant
midget-vampires battling a fat alcoholic Rutger Hauer). This brings me to my main
point: almost all vampire movies are really bad. The original Dracula is honest-to-
god pretty boring. “Near Dark” is just “Twilight” with texans. “Dracula 3000” had robot
prostitutes and Coolio . “Blade Trinity” somehow found a way to make even Blade suck.
Sure there are a few exceptions (“Blade II,” “Let the Right One In,” the first half of “the
Lost Boys”) but can these movies really make up for “Van Helsing”? I don’t think so. As
bad as Twilight is, it’s unfair to claim it ruined the vampire movie. After all, how do you
kill what’s already dead?

You may think these films are cute and funny, but in real life, they'd be truly horrific.

“The Lion King”
a. You watch your father get trampled by a herd of stampeding animals and die. b. Your uncle tells you it’s your fault. c. You eat bugs, and your only friends are a warthog, meerkat and a voodoo-performing baboon.