I feel sick to my stomach when I look at the classes I have to take. I can’t make up my mind. For someone that looks forward to the end of every day, I’m not very good at seeing what lies past tomorrow morning. I begin to panic. Did I pick the right major? Where am I heading? Will I be successful in life? Questions that have been buzzing around my brain since I first stepped into orientation hum even louder as my breath grows shorter and my heart rate quickens to match my frantic keystrokes.
Then it hits me.
This is exactly what is supposed to be happening to me.
College is hodgepodge of experiences. It’s perhaps the only time when you’re supposed to be floundering, supposed to change your mind 14 times in one week, supposed to throw yourself head first into something that may or may not lead you to what you do the rest of your life.
I think that’s the point. There is no better time to learn to truly live for the uncertainty of things, to work your hardest even though you’re not really sure where it will take you, and to learn that that’s ok.
The lesson lies in embracing the ambiguity and finding peace with not having all the answers because that is when you open yourself to the possibilities.
And suddenly, I feel a lot better.