It’s finally upon us, folks: the glorious weeklong stretch of beer, bikinis and bad decisions known as spring break. For seven days, we can forget about our moral compasses and, for lack of better phrasing, f—k s—t up. Right?
Well, if you watch some of these vacation movies, you might think so. Many films like to play up the “girls gone wild” factor of college kids on holiday. (“Spring Breakers,” anyone?) On the other hand, some depict youngins’ doing wholesome activities on vacation like aquarium-hopping and horseback riding (i.e.: the flawless, Oscar-worthy classic “Holiday in the Sun”).
Below, we’ve selected seven classic vacation films—we admit they’re not all about spring break per se, but please don’t kill us—and gave them “turnt” factors from a scale of one to 10. And don’t think we forgot about “From Justin to Kelly.”
“Spring Breakers” (2013)
Turnt Factor: 10
If you have a spring break like Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens and the gang in this cult classic, we suggest greatly altering your life choices. In this 94-minute film, the four scantily-clad protagonists manage to do cocaine, casually rob a chicken store and—oh yeah!—shoot people. Calm the hell down, girls.
“Holiday in the Sun” (2001)
Turnt Factor: 0
Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen head to the Atlantis Resort—get that promo!—in the Bahamas for winter vacation and manage to do absolutely nothing titillating. (Unless you count—gasp!—night swimming at the hotel pool after hours as scandalous.) However, they do manage to get involved with artifact smuggling (?), which is both random and iconic.
“Piranha 3D” (2010)
Turnt Factor: 8
Don’t you just hate it when flesh-hungry, prehistoric piranhas ruin your lakeside binge drinking? Before millions of razor-toothed mini-fish crashed these college kids’ spring break, they were actually having a pretty fantastic time. So many random wet T-shirt contests!
“From Justin to Kelly” (2003)
Turnt Factor: 3
Ah, the holy grail of spring break movies. When Justin (Guarini) meets Kelly (Clarkson) on vacation, they begin a “Grease”-style affair for the ages…but with a terrible soundtrack. This is good wholesome fun, people. However, we amped up the film’s score on account of Justin’s out-of-control hair.
“Spring Breakdown” (2009)
Turnt Factor: 5
Amy Poehler and Rachel Dratch star in this film about a group of 30-something women who follow a politician’s daughter to a spring break hotspot and make sure no shenanigans occur. The flick is full of run-of-the-mill bikini fare, but Poehler’s antics up the ante.
“Spring Break Shark Attack” (2005)
Turnt Factor: 6
Like “Piranha,” these poor college kids just wanted some debauchery but got pesky killer sharks instead. If anything, the sharks seem to be living it up with their smorgasbord of human flesh.
“She’s All That” (1999)
Turnt Factor: 9
This movie only has one spring break scene, but it’s too good not to discuss. When Taylor Vaughan (Jodi Lyn O’Keefe) almost falls while dancing on a pool party platform, has-been reality star Brock Hudson (Matthew Lillard) saves her and they begin an affair. This is enough for Taylor to dump her all-star high school boyfriend Zach Siler (Freddie Prinze, Jr.). It must’ve been one hell of a spring break for that to happen.
